Get back to basics and enjoy life the way God intended it!

Get back to basics and enjoy life the way God intended it.

Are we having fun yet? Do you ever ask that question when you are running the marathon of your life? Isn’t that how it feels, so many things to do, so little time. We are part of the mass commuters clogging our freeways. We rush from home to dropping off children at school, we go to work, rush back out to get to the day care before it closes, grab dinner on the go, then off to different parks for practice for the children, then home for baths and homework. Whew – when do we get to enjoy ourselves? A little down time would be nice wouldn’t it? Well, let’s take a little journey back in time and see how life has changed over the decades and how we can make some changes that can give us some of our joy back.

Do you recall stories from grandparents and even your own parents about what life was like when they were growing up in the 40’s and 50’s? My mom went down memory lane for me and this is what she shared.

Radio was the big thing in the 40’s, and if by the 50’s you had a 10 inch television you were really “it” (today television consumes most of our free time and we’ve got screens in the living room, kitchen, bedrooms and bathrooms, many as large as 60 inches). Do you have any quiet time in your day?

Radio shows like “Intersanction” were popular and families listened to spooky shows that surprised, stunned, frightened, and startled everyone - they would jump out of their seats so caught up in it all. They also listened to the news of the week on radio. This was family time, what is your family time consist of?

Children spent time outside playing dodge ball, skating and riding bikes. Mothers’ made clothes for their children. Families lived in close proximity to each other. You could visit grandma across the neighborhood parkway and aunts, uncles and cousins lived within walking distance (today families are spread out across the state and sometimes the country - pack your weekend suitcases kids and load up the suburban – we’re going to grandma’s house).

Families ate meals together at home (especially dinner), and all were expected to be cleaned up and act properly at the table (no giggling allowed or you were sent to bed without dinner). Meaningful conversations took place at the dining table. Children were not apart of adult conversation. Actually, adult conversations ceased when children entered the room (children thought they were gossiping – who knows, my grandma is not here to tell her side of the story). Otherwise, as the saying goes: children were seen and not heard. Sounds kind of harsh but I imagine this practice kept children naïve to adult affairs until they were ADULTS (our children today are a part of all conversations –they kind of skip childhood and we see them suffering greatly as they live with great responsibilities well beyond their years).

On Sunday’s families dressed in their best and went to church to worship God. People had a fear of God and children feared their parents’ authority (today we lack a real relationship with God and sometimes children seem to run the households). Lots of socializing went on after mass. There was not a rush to get out and get home. In my family, I recall stories about my grandmother having the local priest over for dinner regularly (I did pose that idea once to my children and they thought I was crazy – I didn’t because I knew my grandma did it – interesting how we are influenced).

The “ice man” wore a cape over his back (because of the cold?) and delivered blocks of ice for refrigerators, grabbing the ice blocks with big tongs, while the children chased him trying to collect the ice shavings and drippings of cold water (we don’t wait to see the Sparkletts man much less chase him down the street – we would be arrested and definitely accused of harassment). The “milk man” delivered milk in aluminum containers, and the vegetable man brought fresh vegetables like chiles, bell peppers, potatoes and fruit, with tarps on either side of the bins to protect the perishables. “Nicho”, the “rag man” came through the neighborhood on his horse that pulled his buggy –calling out “rags, rags, rags”, and children would run out with full arms excited to give him clothing (that was how he apparently made a living).

Women for the most part didn’t work, but did plenty of housework in their housecoats (I myself wear an apron). Their duties included ironing and starching of clothing, hanging clothes and sheets outside on the line to dry neatly hung by clothes pins (no dryers), mending socks and the knees of worn out pants, and of course cooking. Often the children had chores, including collecting eggs in the morning from the chicken coop for the day’s breakfast (we’re lucky if we can get someone to go out to the fruit tree and pick an orange – they’d rather have Tampico juice).

On Sundays – yeah – church! This was the special time to receive a message that set the tone for the week. On that day the family also gathered in the living room to read the funnies (comic strips). No housework was allowed and a woman stayed clear of the kitchen (Sunday was one day my grandma didn’t wear an apron), a true day of rest. Sunday was the day that families could pile in the car to go visit relatives (especially grandpa and grandma).

Young adults practiced abstinence. As a rule they didn’t talk about sex nor did they participate (I’m sure there were a few exceptions). No kissing or holding hands was allowed in public and chaperones was a must on a date (now children are having children and I don’t think I even have to talk about hugging and kissing in public in today’s society). Families and children didn’t know when a couple was having marital troubles, all arguments and/or words of any sort were done behind closed doors.

Life was much simpler and much less complicated. The days were not jammed packed with things to do outside of the home, nor did they have toys that stole valuable quality time from their relationships. They walked to get from place to place and did not spend chunks of time traveling from one event to the other. The pace that people lived their life was much slower. Church and family was a priority - people enjoyed their time and each other. Those were the days, oh Happy Days!

Now in 2009 our world is engaged in war, and the United States is in a severe deficit. We are suffering from job loss, bankruptcy, and poverty. In some areas, we are prisoners in our homes. We are afraid to let our children outside to play because we may be victims of robberies, murder, kidnappings, and shootings.

We have also experienced arsonists who have set fires and thousands of victims have become homeless due to someone’s selfish actions. The news media sensationalizes everything from car chases to the outfit a celebrity wore to the Oscars.

The mass public supports talk shows like Jerry Springer where the family dirt is put on national television for all to see (perhaps many stories are staged, but the problem is we are entertained by it). Reality shows that follow pop stars’ lives or even that of a bachelor hog up our evenings, and we use them as the basis of our conversation the next day at work when we’re standing by the water cooler (maybe I’m dating myself with the water cooler thing, I suppose today it’s e-mail and texting – after all who has face to face conversations anymore-unless of course someone is buying you lunch).

We use alcohol and drugs for the high, to escape from our lives, for depression, to lose weight, to sleep, or to go to the bathroom. We tattoo and pierce our bodies and destroy the temple that God gave us (why would we intentionally destroy a work of perfection?) Graffiti has become commonplace on walls where gangs claim territories and in some areas have been allowed to have a wall of markings permanently.

We have gone crazy with physical looks. We’ll spend thousands of dollars on lap bands, breast implants, face lifts, tummy tucks, hair implants, and weight loss. We’ll take drugs and have sperm implanted in our uterus’ to have multiple child births.

We sit in front of the television for hours and surf the internet at home and at work (on company time of course) and our laptops, cell phones and blackberries are the new means of communication.

We sit our children in front of the television to watch cartoons, purple dinosaurs and make millionaires of teenage stars like Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus (who now make more money than professional ball players because we buy all the products they have for sale). We’ll also put on the latest Sponge Bob video to entertain our little ones to keep them out of our hair (ugh), I mean keep them safe and busy while we take care of important stuff, household chores, etc.
We take the car everywhere we go, equipped with navigators that talk to us, dvd players, ipod and mp3 players, refrigerators, even heated seats. Can you imagine life without all our modern technology? Has your cell phone ever gone dead for hours – it’s a pretty frightening feeling to be cut off from the world – isn’t it? The cost to own real estate is so high that we commute 20-100 miles a day to and from work or school just to have the ultimate “American dream” (a house). I get that – I do it!

Our stress levels are at an all time high. We take out our frustrations on our loved ones at home (we know how we can treat them – sometimes we treat strangers better than we treat our own family members).

We are suffering from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis, cancer, back aches, headaches, knee problems, hip problems. The list goes on and on.
We are an extremely sedentary people. A perfect example is the work lunch hour. Do you hop in the car and drive two blocks to the local burger stand to pick up lunch? Why not slip on a pair of tennis shoes and walk? Yes, walk, you know, one foot in front of the other, repeat motion, repeat motion, repeat. Oh, oh, oh, how about this: Do you drive into a shopping center and go into to let’s say Target on new release Tuesday to buy that movie you saw last Christmas. Then, you hop back in the car and move the car over a few parking isles because you need to stop at Ross and see what bargains they’ve got going on that day. Oh look at this, they’ve got their new shipment of workout tanks (even though you don’t workout), but left it there because the companies must have mismarked the items, because you are a true size 8, not 12. Now you get back in the car and move it two stores over to get into Trader Joe’s to pick up some natural almonds and a container of those butter cookies you love so much (what did you say? You didn’t get the fat free or sugar free version because they ran out? Hmmm, at least you tried halfway with those almonds). Oh, look my luck there’s a Starbucks. I’m thirsty from running all these errands – I deserve this little treat. “Yes may I have a venti iced caramel macchiato . . ., yes extra caramel please. Oh, excuse me sir – could you add whipped cream to that. I know it doesn’t come on the drink – I want whipped cream” (ghee whiz – who’s paying for the coffee here!)!

How many times a week do we sit down with our family and share a meal together? We eat on the go or while leaning against the kitchen counter. Our work desk is also a lovely place to enjoy a meal, or even more popular is the “in car dining” (we have become quite efficient at eating and driving). Now I am not exempt from this fine talent. Ask my children and they’ll tell you I could pass out food to my three children and eat a salad while driving. I’ll bet most of us can reach under the seat and find an old french fry, or a trash bag with the remains of a dinner that was eaten before baseball practice. I know we are crunched for time, how do we fit it all in. When do we enjoy our life?

Let’s look at saving a buck or saving a life. It may be cheaper to eat off the dollar menu at the nearest drive thru, but is it worth the calories, the bad doctor visit, and the diagnosis of let’s say diabetes.

How’s that waist band on those jeans, fitting a little bit tighter? That little roll is now a big roll, you’ve stopped buttoning the top button on those pants, or you might have switched to elastic waist bands. Oh, I’m sorry ladies, you might be too trendy for that, how about tights, how many pairs of those things do you own, and how many colors (you know when we find something we like we get it in a few colors). Don’t laugh too hard guys, you might believe you are still a 32 inch waist, but when was the last time you bought a pair of pants (a little snug? I know you don’t like to shop right?). Those oldies but goodies, your 501’s, they will always do the trick, I know the material on those jeans are a little more giving now that jeans are broken in right?
Everyday we hear how exercise can help a multitude of ailments. Knowing that we can fight against diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, osteoporosis (among other things), we still avoid exercise. We know this important information but do we do anything about it? We are l-a-z-y, oh so lazy. We’ve even got exercise programs on cable and we eat while we watch them (honey, on your way back from the bathroom can you bring me some more Oreos, I’m out! – Hurry, they’re starting the series on pilates!). Also, the treadmill that has been in the bedroom for years is now a nifty clothes hanger (old news, new concept: hangers are for clothes, the treadmill is for YOU-WALK!).

Since we’re talking about exercise, here’s one for moms and dads both. When our children are at soccer, baseball or football practice, aren’t we sitting comfortably on our fold up chairs munching on a bag of let’s say chips, nachos, and the super duper sized soft drink (I know it was only a quarter more – come on - put the quarter in the piggy bank – put the money toward the cell phone you are paying for your pre-schooler just in case of an emergency). I know the choices at the snack bar are pretty grim, what’s a person to do.

I think you can agree that with some small modifications we can make big differences in our lives. So you’re living with a lot of pressures and stress, who isn’t. The question is who is putting this pressure on you? You’ve made your schedule, you can change it.
You child has been safely delivered to practice a bit late I might add (the traffic was horrendous –and you were sitting impatiently trying to beat the 6 pm daycare cut-off), so your child had to do 2 laps – but you didn’t have to run the laps, right – you did your part - the point is that you got them there (Suggestion: do the laps with your child – he or she will appreciate your effort (view it as a “free” grown up mommy ‘n me session) and you will burn a few calories, release some stress and feel fabulous afterwards – who cares what anybody else thinks-hey here’s an idea ask someone to join you).

Now with regard to food, we do have choices (of course, now remember you have to WANT A BETTER LIFE AND DO THE PREPARATION WORK). Pack a blanket, a picnic basket, and an ice chest the night before for the family (have your children help you get ready for the picnic – make it fun and share the work- REALLY YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING ALL BY YOURSELF). Gather a few items to make a quick dinner at the park before practice. You are late anyway, so why not enjoy the time with your family (what’s 15 or 20 minutes). An easy idea would be a loaf of bread, lean lunch meat (ham or turkey), low fat or non-fat cheese slices, romaine leafs or even better spinach (remember you don’t have to be Popeye or Olive Oyl to enjoy this great vegetable – don’t even ask me who Popeye and Olive Oyl are, how old are you?) and mustard (I know you have a container in the fridge, because you hardly ever use it – use it people – it’s non fat and it perks up a bland sandwich). Take a can of olives and open it at home. You can place one on each finger and eat them off one by one – it causes such fun giggles. Oh, oh - extra benefits – laughing is also contagious and relaxes arteries and increases blood flow – hey 3 for 1, that’s better than a sale at Macy’s). Try a low fat yogurt and pack some of those natural almonds you picked up from Trader Joe’s for an after practice snack, mix them with dried cranberries (uhmmm, sounds yummy) and put them in SNACK SIZE storage bags (WHY?? so you will not eat the whole bag – overindulgence is what’s got us into trouble in the first place – portion control!!!). Now isn’t that a healthier dinner option. Change it up with some PB&J (who cares, have lunch for dinner). You might include another family-hey the party just got bigger – you do dinner one night and the other family prepares dinner the next. Please, p-l-e-a-s-e , P-L-E-A-S-E skip the soda! Drink water, water, water! Hydrate. It’s good for your skin and you can wash out the impurities in your body (cuz you’ll be sweating from those laps you’ll be taking with your child for being late to practice, right?). You can get the water free from your filtered fridge or buy it (w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r, it’s better than a 32 oz big gulp that packs 91 grams of sugar or regular can of soda=10 teaspoons of sugar).

Besides the extra work and healthier food choices what is the purpose of this picnic you ask (I can’t believe you still need more reasons, but sure whatever you need). You will get a life. Yes! Do you know what that means or is that a foreign phrase? A life means you will engage in wonderful conversation with your husband and your children. You will learn about each other’s day (extremely important notice to husbands: if you’re going to ask wifie how her day was, at least listen. Fyi - we are not asking for a fix, we just want to unload – I know you can do it - just listen and be quiet – be sure to make eye contact - otherwise don’t ask). Then there’s the little children. You remember them, those sweet little babies that you brought into the world in a moment of passion. Let’s love them like they deserve. They need hugs and kisses, and we need to be that positive influence in their lives. If you want to know how they are doing, just sit and listen to them. You will quickly discover what it is you are teaching them. You will notice how they are applying those morals, values and manners you taught them. If you hear something you don’t like, before reprimanding you might look to yourself first (it doesn’t have to be in the mirror but I’ll bet you’ll get a better picture when you look at yourself) and figure out if you are the wonderful influence in this child’s life (we can all change gossipy attitudes, judging, talking when its not our turn, putting our two cents in when its none of our business, etc.). So what, we all make mistakes. Good news, you can change!!!

You can also play a fun game like, “what was the highlight of your day” and let that begin the new positive enlightening conversation. The worst that can happen is that you will feel calm and relaxed, you will once again or perhaps for the first time enjoy your family, you will laugh heartily, love deeper than ever and your once hard driven life will seem doable or better yet, amazing, fantastic, superb, magnificent (don’t call me crazy until you try it)!

Now let’s get to the most important day of your week, Sunday. What about Sundays? Well you might remember hearing that it is the Lord’s Day, the day of rest. So a few things you can do to make Sunday holy, respected and restful. God rested on Sunday and he asks you to do the same (who knew?). Don’t do any chores on Sunday (that’s right, give yourself the day off. Yes, it is possible – you’ve got the rest of the week to do whatever it is that you do). Ladies let go of the guilt. I know what you’re feeling, I can feel your pain, I’m a woman too! Give yourself permission to take the day off! Instead have everyone get dressed up and go to church. Set the breakfast table with your best dishes. Oh, oh, oh, another idea - if you have a formal dining room, use it! No television! No, you don’t have to cook. Put some oatmeal or cold cereal out (no sugar –or low sugar if you have to), with some fresh strawberries in desert cups, garnish with a dab of low fat cool whip and sliced almonds, and pick a few flowers from your garden (or perhaps your neighbor’s garden – with permission of course) and then go visit Grandma and Grandpa, they sure could use some smiling faces. You can also make it a play day at the park and invite some friends.

Here’s a great thing you can do everyday of the week: While you are warming up the car and after everyone is buckled up, take a moment and pray out loud for everyone in the car, name each person individually and ask for grace to be nice to others even if they are not nice to you, be a blessing to someone who needs help, pray for your safety on the road today, and thank God for the sunrise this morning (that my friends will set a fabulous tone for your day)! You should pray before each meal to give thanks for your food, and every night before everyone goes to bed take time share the blessings that you noticed today – isn’t he a loving God –if you don’t know it yet you will. You might try opening up the bible. Many families own one but have never opened it. Start with a children’s bible to get the whole family motivated. Read a story each night before turning the lights out with the children – it’s a wonderful daily habit and it will only take a couple of minutes. I know you can do it (I have a home to run also – I know it’s possible).

So what about the chores, who’s going to do the chores. Get up 5 minutes earlier and put a load of wash in, you can get it in the dryer after you are out of the shower (you can fold the clothes when you are watching the Biggest Loser, Dancing with the Stars, or American Idol - who’s your favorite singer?). An even better idea would be to teach the children to do their own wash (think ahead – they will be moving out someday). Clean the bathroom sink right after you brush your teeth (or ask little Cindy to spray Fantasic cleaner on fabulous fantastic Wednesdays). Scrub the walls of the shower in the morning during the week rather than saving all for Saturdays-yuk (or ask your honey to do that little thing for you-you might barter for something he likes – I’m just saying . . .). Mop the kitchen floor with your child – you do six squares, he does six squares (make the task easier with a light steamer mop) – you might be surprised he or she might just do the whole floor because you made it so much fun (don’t forget to put music on-it makes things so much more doable). Have your children quiz you on this week’s vocabulary words – you answer them wrong intentionally and they will correct you – then you’ll know they know their stuff and they just love being smarter than you. Stop rushing around in the evenings, run some errands at lunch time and utilize the stores near work or do without it. If you are cooking at home, ask your honey, “I could really use some help, would you like to cook our dinner or clean up afterwards” (yes, really, ask for help – I had to almost have a nervous breakdown to learn that one – yes, my doctor told me ask for help or increase your stress to the point of heart attack).

I speak from experience, I’ve done all these things and it works. I have enjoyed my life so much more. I found relief from stress and peace not only in the changes that I made with my family, but more importantly peace came with the investment of time I spent with God.
My new relationship with God brought new meaning to my life, a heightened sense of excitement, and a new found energy that I’ve never felt before. I have a beautiful soul that always existed but I never really allowed it to surface, you have one too. You too have a divine purpose for your life and you will find that inner-spirituality that is waiting to bust out.
I’ve changed many things in my life and it’s just the beginning. Now it’s your turn. You’ll feel more relaxed, confident and happier. You’ll acquire more patience and feel satisfaction from the smallest of things. There is a wholeness that will consume you and it will get you from one minute to the next, one situation to another, and one night until dawn. That completeness converts to faith and truth about what you believe and to whom you serve. I learned it’s not about me, it’s about loving others. So, take your mind off yourself and watch what happens. Get back to basics and enjoy life the way God intended it.

Mom- hope the details were pretty close to the truth. I had no time to run it by you – I was too excited – had to get it out! Love you.