All aboard! Step Forward Please!

All aboard! Step forward please!

“Oh, look there she goes, another 10 steps,” exclaimed grandma! Lisa ran into the room and saw Carlie just as she went “plop” on the floor. “Come on Carlie, do it again for mommy. I know you can do it,” Lisa pressed her little one. “Plop,” down she went again. “I don’t know why she stops after just a few steps, she must realize that she can do it,” said Carlie’s mommy seeming a bit annoyed. “I want her to walk already!” “Not all little ones are ready to walk at 11 months. She’s just not equipped yet honey, but look at her she keeps trying,” grandma replied confidently.

“You know you didn’t walk until you were 13 months old,” said grandma as she picked Carlie up from the kitchen floor. “I didn’t?” “No. Your father had to carry you everywhere we went,” her mother smiled with sweet recollection of the past. “You’ve always been a late bloomer and frankly, slow to trust. Let me rephrase that, you’ve always been afraid of the unknown. It’s hard for you to trust and to take a step forward.” “You think I’m afraid, I’m not afraid of anything,” she retorted defiantly. “Not of anything Lisa, of yourself.”

“Listen Lisa, you were afraid to walk. You were also afraid of your dog Candy. You refused to be on the floor if she was anywhere near you. We used to have to keep Candy in the yard when you were awake and running around. You didn’t like my bird Toby, and he was in his cage for goodness sakes. You didn’t want to take ballet or play any sports unless your cousin’s did it first. It was just a lack of confidence. Actually if my memory serves me right, you’d stick like glue to your father’s pant leg at birthday parties and visits to your grandma’s house.

Sometimes, just as we were about to leave, you’d finally get the courage to play, and then, you’d cry all the way home because you didn’t get the chance.” “That’s silly mom, you’re exaggerating. Anyway, I’m sure there are plenty of children who didn’t want to do those same things”. “Of course there are, you just lacked confidence.”

“Huh,” Lisa murmured. She wasn’t sure if she was angry about being called a late bloomer or the suggestion that she lacked confidence. “I’m ready for anything, I’m not afraid, especially of myself” she rebounded internally.

“I’m leaving now, Lisa,” grandma called out from the next room, come and get Carlie she just walked me to the front door!” Lisa arrived at the door and saw Carlie sitting at grandma’s feet. Lisa picked up Carlie and brought her close so grandma could kiss her goodbye. “Bye, bye my baby,” grandma kissed Carlie sweetly on the top of her head. “Grandma will see you soon.” With a raised eye brow, pursed lips and eyes that peered over her glasses, she turned to Lisa, “Did you make that appointment yet with Dr. Diletta?” There was an odd silence and Lisa looked away. “You’d better make it soon! The sooner you know what’s going on the sooner you’ll be at peace.”

Lisa held Carlie close for a long moment after the door closed. She put her forehead against that of Carlie’s and looked right into her round eyes and asked, “Am I a good mommy Carlie?” Not waiting for a reply Lisa hugged her daughter tightly. “I don’t know if I’ll be a good mommy to another baby.” Lisa closed her eyes, and gently buried her daughter’s head of silky thin curly hair beneath her chin and sobbed.

As the old saying goes, “there is nothing to fear, but fear itself”. We do all kinds of crazy things to avoid our own fears. We might point our fingers at others in blame. We’ll be quick to anger when we’re broached with conversation about “that thing.” We’ll even go to extremes and not show up at a party or avoid contact with someone who is sure to follow up on your last conversation.

I am reminded of a reading from Matthew 14:22, that reads in part:

“Then He made the disciples get into the boat and precede Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds. After doing so, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When it was evening He was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, He came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost,’ they said and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, ‘Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.’ Peter said to him in reply, ‘Lord if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord save me!’ Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’”

Why do we doubt? We may not have skills but we have some desire. We may possess the skills and yet we are leery. We can doubt ourselves when someone inflicts their own insecurities upon us. We may also resist change and not necessarily our abilities. Often we doubt because of the unknown.

“I doubt if I can do that,” we say this without even trying. “I don’t know if that’s possible”, puts a negative connotation upon the idea. “He’s never succeeded before, why would he now,” no confidence in the possibility of change. “You may as well give up now, you’ll never make it”, dismisses all hope.

Today you are going to turn things around! “Oh you of big faith,” is now your mantra. “I have the skills to do it!” Your skills will not be limited to the tangible. Oh, no! We can do only so much with material things in the natural and the physical. You have skills far beyond that which humans can acquire through classes, education and imitation.

You must recognize that you have God given gifts and talents. Your confidence comes from your trust in the promise of God. He sent His Son to assure us that if we are loyal to His word, are devout in our thoughts, have faith in His promises, we would have an abundant life. We will gain a genius for, a knack for, the capacity for fighting fear. We possess an endowment, a gift, for fighting dread, fright, panic, alarm, trepidation, apprehension, anxiety, phobia, and worry. We have to become confident and open our hearts to the idea that our trust in the Lord allows us to conquer all things. Trust makes all things doable, tolerable, and attainable. We will triumph over negative attitudes, sour faces, jealousies, and insecurities of others and of ourselves.

Keep moving forward on your journey. Avoid being stagnant at all costs. You’ll go through awkward and testing cycles of life, but be consistent and confident and you will prevail by riding with God in the conductor’s seat right to the last leg of the trip. You are on the right track now. Yes, this is your train! All aboard! Step forward please!